Is there a nun, a priest, a pregnant woman, a disgraced ex-cop, present?

Usually if there's one or all of the above, chances are you're in a disaster movie.  Now we could add Scottish Football Association referee.  So picture the scene, the Brooklyn Tunnel at rush hour.  We know its going to cave in and drown (almost) everyone but we have to go through the preamble as the traditional list of victims get in their cars and drive into the doomed tunnel - the father fighting for custody of the kid who he's taking back to its mother; the jewish father estranged from his faith and family; the nun, the priest, the gangsta with a heart of gold, Gordon Brown, the disgraced ex-cop who will redeem himself and now the SFA referee.  If he's present we can all be rest assured it's going to be a cracking disaster movie.  Of course I'm not referring to any person or any Sunday game held in Paisley but mearly just an observation on a new Hollywood tradition.

I'm going to try and post this link to last weeks Kickabout and see if this is a good way of posting the show.  Try it out and see if it works - the show contains no zombies, vampires or pudsey bears (which make up 80% of all televisual output) but I'll see what i can do for next week.

The Kickabout Episode 65


all the best and keep checking itunes or kickaboutscotland for updates...

cheers

gd

now to get in the car and head under the east river

The Kickabout Is Alive

Forgive me gaffer for I have sinned - it has been ages since my last blog...believe me it wasn't my fault.....what do you mean gaffer?  You want me to lie, eh, you're wanting me to say I WAS to blame...that I, on the sidelines of the game was responsible for this decision...not to blog.
(note to reader, only remotely amusing if you have read anything to do with referees in Scotland in past 10days)
No, its not so, it was you gaffer, you told me me not to blog.....blah de blah and on and on......

This is about as interesting as the actual incident...who cares about dougie saying this and the wee guy saying that when we could all be hearing about Cupids and sex in Tommy's house, in The Sheridan Trial.  Sod yer referee-gate and lets talk about Pole-Gate and why Cupids from the outside looks so shit.

But thats not why I've suddenly appeared to talk to a vacuum of people - The Kickabout is back, it really never went away but we're on itunes and still pulling in almost as many people people as Tommy did at the height of his powers.

Seemingly in Cupids there were videos of people getting humped, playing all over the place on big screens....wonder how St Mirren DVD's made it down there.  Maybe fell out of Tommy's bag on an earlier trip.

Oh and if you think I think he did then no I don't.  How could anyone when talking about Cupids not have a big smile on their face, I mean come on...lets be 'aving you.

I'm just about to call Mickey Weir to discuss our showfor this week, the last 4 weeks we've been at The Hilton at Edinburgh Airport and very nice people they are too although they refused point blank my suggestion of a sex club in the new lounge which is getting built....come on, how many politicians and footballers pass that road end every week....we'd be millionaires i tell you meeeeelionaires.

So yes, I'm starting a new offensive to tell you or warn you of a new live show called The Kickabout Live...details to follow...not to follow follow...cause that would suggest a football allegiance...whereas I'm aligned to the stars, like Uranus and Frings (torsten's father's double-act name from the 70's..big big stars in the Potsdam oompah circuit)

So check out itunes and search for The Kickabout as http://www.kickaboutscotland.com/ is still a work in progress.  I may ask that top Church Of Scotland guy to take it over as I need a Moderator.

gordon d


Gordon Dallas can be seen in cinemas in Burke and Hare as the right t*t of the second victim

It was Kickabout Out n About special this week as Mickey Weir, Joe Tortolano and myself went to Scotland’s only Vibrating Gym. – Studio Eh1. We had a go on the £7,000, state of the art vibrating machines, which the likes of Chelsea and Man Utd have at their training camps, before scoffing the millionaire shortcake and downing multiple cups of tea. We had a chat (as you do in podcasts) to Fiona the trainer and Helen and Ian the owners who got the idea and the business model from friend, Peter Nicol (world champion squash player). However, we managed to find a space in the gym to talk football - the opening weekend to the season is discussed and I counted every goal in the English Premiership and every goal and bookings in all the 4 divisions in Scotland. I'm not proud of it, but I did. Also, we chatted about Usain Bolt’s World record, and Rob Shoebridge’s goal that-should-have been. Our face-off this week was the Fatties v the Fitties of British football. We also headed down to the Unathletic Arms for a pub quiz and some inane chat you only get down a boozer. Could it be the world’s first vibrating radio podcast? It’s a football show Jim – but not as you know it!

For more information, or to listen 'live' online, visit www.kickaboutscotland.com

Also, a Boot Room Special with Smeato and Arnold Brown (language warning!)
Recorded at the Assembly Rooms after the fringe show, An Audience with John Smeaton – this recording unfortunately sounds a bit odd as it was done on Gordon Dallas’s dictaphone - the stupid plonker had left his recording equipment at home. However with the The Sun photographers and Miss Scotland looking on, Mickey and Gordon make a good fist of it, trying to record the hero of the Glasgow Airport Terrorist attacks at 1.15 am in the bar at the Assembly Rooms after a bit of grog has been consumed. So be warned - there is a fair amount of bad language. It also features, Perrier Award winner, Arnold Brown (the man who supported Sinatra), who hardly touches a drop but due to the quality of recording sounds absolutely hammered. Unintentionally hilarious, a bit offensive and very very ropey in quality – exactly what the fringe should be...none of this corporate takeover stuff. It’s a cracking Boot Room, enjoy and apologies for the bad language!

week 23

been ages since I blogged about the worlds best podcast...in my opinion..that is but just finished week 23, recorded at the royal ettrick in edinburgh..here's a flavour

Madonna does it every year. Scooby Doo has done it, so has Noddy and even The Mr Men – we’re talking about re-inventing yourself. So welcome to the all new Kickabout where we have decided to pull the resources of all 3 shows and put them into 1! Do you remember when we all used to take 3 bottles into the shower? Well it’s the same with us. For the next ‘wee while’ as we market and push the show all over the place as the new season gets underway, we’ve decided to have one big super duper show with Pub Chat and The Boot Room and the Kickabout all in one.
So this week, on the new and improved Kickabout we visit the pub and also speak to Dave McParland in our interview section. The sensible subjects range from Barry Ferguson and his SFA comments via Livingstone’s troubles, Celtic v Arsenal and back via Norwich’s 7-1 hammering. Indeed the theme of the show is Bad Opening days..Mickey’s got a Not So Tall Tale about getting thumped 5-0 while Joe talks about his first day in civvy street – it wasn’t a good start. Our other theme is Unbelievable sporting moments - the pub section features a cracking question about Man Utd and Barca with the pub chat centering on which dad would you like (Michael Jackson’s daughter has ‘Oliver’ as possibly her new dad).
It was always crammed with features but now prepare for an aural assault as we fling virtually everything at you in a one hour show more packed than Cristiano Ronaldo’s speedos
For more information, or to listen 'live' online, visit www.kickaboutscotland.com

25,000 downloads...gerrinthar

its been a while since i blogged..and there's poor buggers in war torn parts of the world who risk life and limb to do this while I'm too busy horsing through a packet of skips and surfing pictures of Big Brothers Kary Ashworth who was i believe the last 'bird' to appear on the radio show i did at DOOMED Talk107. Wonder who the last bit of skirt at Setanta was...maybe it was Karly..cue the twighlight zone music. I hope that girl goes far...nice to see something that was made in Fife doing and looking so well. Just wanted to mention a big thank you to Jim Duffy who appeared on our podcast last week, Kickabout episode 13 and Craig Brown who appeared on it this week alongside Kevin Drinkell. Craigs story about Andt Goram, a bird in a hotel room, a birthday cake and a Scot;land game is the stuff of legend..check it out on www.kickaboutscotland.com ...dont forget to click the scotbet logo and have a flutter. It's a shame nbut scottish football needs to be approaced at a different angle, it needs to be packaged better, presented better and sold better. ESPN may be owned bt Disnet and i think in this case a Mickey Mouse company for a Mickey Mouse league may just be the medicine we need - lets be in no doubt, the yanks can sell a product. They may not want ours and at that price but if they do take it on, I'll be fascinated to see how they go about it...in th mean time back to those pictures of karly...c'mon the fifers!!

10,000 BG...bloody good.

Can't get used to this blogging thing, and don't start me on twitter...anyway its been a while since i talked about the new podcast here in Edinburgh, The Kickabout where we've just passed the 10,000 download mark...which unlike 10,000BC which i watched yestarday, is pretty good...if I don't mind saying so myself.
Can't stop worrying about swine flu however...we in scotland were panicked when bird flu arrived here 2 years ago. I myself caught chocolate bird flu this easter holidays and have put on 2 stone.

anyway i have to tell u about this weeks podcasts.

Arthur Montford was immense in our Boot Room, so check it out for stories of Pele, Bobby Moore Puskas and even Andy Ritchie. Joe T and Mickey W along with myself were in a supremely immature mood this week in Pub Chat and on The kickabout where we welcomed boxing correspondent Brian Donald and Agent Black, the undercover amateur referee who launched the latest feature on The Kickabout – For Refs Sake!

In the main show the lads talk about the hard men of football from their professional days – hear how Terry Hurlock put Mickey out for 3 months during a pre-season friendly and try to stifle your laughter as Joe talks about being up-ended by Graham Roberts. And I was delighted to launch the first instalment of Romanov – The Early Years....this week Vladimir wins 2 tickets on a poker game to sail on the RMS Titanic.

Next week, well I haven’t written it yet, any thoughts, gordon@kickaboutscotland.com. And just a word for Scotbet and Mike Platt; the new Scottish treble on the Scotbet website which was launched on our Thursday update show last week paid out!!! So not only is this a little bit of entertainment it might just make you some money. Check out The Scotbet-a-Bout and help keep this going by opening up an online account with Scotbet - Its fun it’s football and you don’t need to know about either to enjoy the Kickabout!
Email.....gordon@kickaboutscotland.com

kickabout press launch

been a bit busy setting up a press launch for our podcast The Kickabout, that is until I found out the venue in edinburgh had been double booked and they hadn't told me til yesterday..grrreat.
So if you live in edinburgh and you've read this post and you know The Kickabout, why not come on down to the press launch and see how much beer.......we've not laid on. Even our burlesque dancer has blown us off - or her feathers have. So it'll be an interesting night....funny how night is so phonetically close to sh**e. No I can't think that way, I'm sure Mickey Weir, Joe Tortalano and maybe Gary MacKay (who is struggling to get there) will make it a night to remember.....aye right. Even today as i was planning the event, i took my car to an electrical expert who quoted me 100 quid cheaper than the last guy only i couldn't find it - either i buy sat-nav (therefore nullifying the 100 quid), it doesn't exist (in which case i've been right royally stitched up and well done to whoever's done it...my mate callum gave me the number...mmmmmm) or my luck is well and truly out and i can't do hee haw right this weather in which case the press launch will be as about successful having just the one with Alan Mcgregor